Much love to Brent Allen from Small Biz Marketing 2.0 for this subject idea.
It's funny how many times this subject has crossed my path but has NEVER hit me as a blog post. This is going to seem like it's mainly geared TOWARD WOMEN. But read this all the way through and you'll find this post is good for masculine and femenine energies alike. Here we go.
The main problem seems to be with professional women who are beautiful, driven, and seeking a strong relationship. The specific situation recently accounted was about a woman that would up front tell men that she was not going to have sex with them.
I can understand and relate to this situation because I'm a male driven many times by sexual desire but I also have come to know what it's like to be worth no more than an object of sex. It's a bizzare feeling and I could not imagine always being in that position, which women are. It's easy to become jaded and confused when you're stepping with your best foot forward and you STILL can't seem to find someone to connect with and be appreciated by.

It is simply enraging to put so much effort into your life only to find that it's yet another battle to find the right kind of person to share it with. But life tends to be an endless series of steps in the name of progress and love. So try not to be too surprised.
Let's make a quick break down.
Men = physical and logic driven.
Women = emotional and connection driven.
This is not some sort of cut and dry definition of the two sexes, but rather an easy way to maybe see what is mentally happening in the case that a woman says:

NO SEX.
Now from what you've read so far, this woman just want's to be treated as important enough to be waited for and committed to. By the way, I'm not talking about weddings, kids, and half of your money. The fact of the matter is that committing to someone in that way really IS a big deal. But it's only a big deal if that commitment goes on for a certain amount of shared time and marriage comes along. For you see, commitment is a decision that can be made and broken just as easily.
And although that may be the final destination for a woman it does not mean that she's trying to trap you. It's more common for someone to FEEL trapped before a relationship than for someone to be PLAYING THE HUNTER. It's called COMMITMENT PHOBIA.
There's a certain freedom of a single person that is threatened when a commited relationship is right around the corner.
But we're off point now.
As a guy, who more often (no offense) thinks with his dick, it's easy to feel a sense of rejection because you've been (as a man) shut down. The same way a woman feels filled up aqin the midst of conversation and time spent together, a man feels this with physical contact and sex.
So, ladies, I'm not writing this to give you guidelines on what to do if a man won't stick around in the event that you won't give up the goods right away. But what I AM doing is allowing you to realize that there is a different effect that lack of sex has on a man than it does a woman. I'm not telling you to go out and bang the world. I am telling you to pay more attention to a man's ego while holding a strong standard about who you are.
Why would a man stop seeing you if you didn't give it up on the first date?
1) He feels rejected...in which case you may have made him feel bad before you made him feel good.
2) He only wants sex...in which case you dodged a bullet and can move on to a more compatible man.
Niether of these are bad. Don't try and punish a man for what he feels, just feel lucky to know what he DOES FEEL. Always have a way to show a man that he's worth your while. Starting off a date with a "No Sex" talk is just as good as saying, "This is not a date". But you can certainly flirt and simply enjoy yourself with him. The desire for men to please women is greater than you realize. Show the full extent of your personality. Have a blast. And when the end of the date comes, just say good bye. If he had a great time, you'll hear from him again. If not, move on. Show him there's a few reasons you like him. The easiest way to keep a man around is by way of playing to his ego.

Trust me, it's easier to stroke without feeling guilty the next morning.
Hope Lives